Let's Talk about the HEART here!

Guide point

I am sure you thought this article was going to be on Heart Health, or Heart attack prevention....Nope, it's about a LOVING, CARING  HEART.  

Here's the deal, we all love our parents, our parents love us (for the most part, right?).  The problem is, we as children think our parents are going to be around forever.  We think they will always be able to care for themselves, cook for themselves, etc.  Then one day, we wake up and we realize our parents just aren't who they used to be.  We notice the changes (a little), but ignore them as "just getting older" issues.  As a parent, you may notice these things as well, and write them off the same way.  In fact, most seniors realize these changes long before anyone else does and then do a very good job of hiding those clues from their loved ones.  

So my HEART conversation with you today (both of you..Parents AND Children, or loved ones) is to begin having conversations about what you want when the time comes.  Yes, I said WHEN the time comes.  You may first start with home care.  Know the differences.  You may want an Independent Living for social and other group settings, and then you may need to progress to Assisted Living or Skilled Nursing.  

Kids; have conversations with your parents about what they want.  The most important discussions you can have at the dinner table or any family event coming up, is about this issue.  Parents will be afraid, sometimes refuse to discuss at first.  They will think you may have alterior motives, that's ok.  (Show them this blog).  Little by little things will begin to open up and discussions will begin between everyone.  

Caring about someone and wanting the best care for them is very important.  But caring about what they want is even more important.  So, learning about what is out there in home care, Independent Care, Assisted Liviing, Skilled Nursing, Hospice care, is very important.  Understanding the differences between each one is crucial to understand as soon as possible.  

My friends at Carematch America are so interested in getting families to talk, they will coach you though it if you need help.  They will help in every way possible, just ask.  

In this month of Valentines, love, and reflection on those we truly care about, think about my message here today.  Think about it and then begin to act.  

Call my friends at Carematch America if you have further questions.  Don't try doing it alone, and for heaven's sake DON'T ENTER YOUR NAME AND EMAIL ADDRESS  on a website and think you are going to get help!  Please don't become a referral.  You deserve bettter.

Thanks for reading!


Understanding ElderCare – The 5 Levels of ElderCare

In June 2016 I attended a conference in Vancouver, BC Canada.  I sold my books at this conference and I was contacted a few days after by Lee Meng Choe from Singapore, inquiring if he could write an article for his client newsletter and use my book.  Below I have noted a little bit about Lee Meng Choe and a link to the wonderful article he did on my book!  This proves; Elder care education is happening everywhere!!  Thanks Lee!!

Carol Chiarito, Founder


lee meng 2

Lee Meng Choe, a Fellow Chartered Financial Practitioner, is a practicing financial planner with 16 years of experience.  He primarily focuses on solving the financial planning issues faced by the middle class where good financial advice can make the most difference.  To him, the impact of good or bad financial advice to these group of people who are “too rich to be poor and too poor to be rich” is the difference between financial independence and bankruptcy.

A co-creator of the “Building Transferable Wealth” financial planning concept, he is passionate about sharing the concept to help bring clarity to the complexities of personal financial planning. 

His areas of specialization includes Financial Plan Design, Identifying Planning Gaps, Insurance Needs Analysis, Planning for Retirement and Estate Planning.

Meng Choe is currently a Financial Services Director with Professional Investment Advisory Services Pte Ltd, one of the leading financial advisory firms in Singapore.

 Click on this link to be directed to his article: http://www.gen.com.sg/insurance/understanding-eldercare-the-5-levels-of-eldercare/

Part II- Trauma and Aging

Dr. Kori Novak

     In the second of this three-part series, we are going to look at how trauma informed care is executed…or not. Initially we looked at what trauma is, and really defined it as anything that causes suffering, pain or negative human emotions.  That’s to say, it’s a huge array of everything.  Your trauma is not necessarily my trauma.  Instead, it is the WAY that trauma manifests in an individual’s life that matters.  So how can that affect the health and well-being of a person?  Well, we can do a whole other blog on just that topic. Instead of following that rabbit trail, let’s skip to how we use TIC in healthcare, and acknowledge that the traumas are going to be there.

Part III Trauma and Aging

In this final installment of the three-part blog on trauma informed care, we are going to consider why trauma informed care seems to be underutilized in our current healthcare system. We will also consider how we might increase the quality of care for our loved ones by using it, and encouraging caregivers and healthcare providers to use it as well.

            The greatest generation has seen more wars than any other generation, living or gone.  Beginning with World War I, WWII, Korea, Vietnam, The Gulf War, Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan, throughout their lifetime these individuals have experienced more loss and various forms of grief than any in our current time. We know that these types of losses can affect every part of our life, whether we decide to face them or bury them away to deal with ‘later’. Keeping this in mind it is difficult to understand why we don’t practice trauma informed care.  Understanding the difficulties that elders have endured during their lifetime and treating them accordingly is a concept that shouldn’t be difficult, and yet we rarely see it in practice.  Why?  Well, in my opinion there are a few reasons. 

            One of the most obvious is that many of these individuals are very private about their past pain. This is the ‘stiff upper lip’ generation.  They tend not to talk about their experiences or don’t think that these traumatic experiences affected them.  In these cases, it is important for family and friends to help guide health or care professionals by sharing stories and insights into their loved ones life and assuring that their needs, if they are specific are understood.   

            Another reason TIC is not used is that this is not something that is taught in any formal way in medical or nursing school, or any type of health care education.  While it is used more in behavioral health and in other industries such as law enforcement, general health care doesn’t teach practitioners about it.  But it really should be simple, it’s about having empathy for patients.  One way or another patients will let their caregivers know what is acceptable and what is not, the question is, do they have to suffer additional trauma before we figure it out. 

            Finally, one of the reasons TIC is often not practiced is because it takes time.  This is often time that physicians don’t have, not because they don’t’ care, but often because they have to move to the next patient in order to stay on track for the day.  There are many reasons for this, but that is another blog.  The bottom line is that physicians simply do not often have the time to spend getting to know or understand the traumas their patients may have experienced in order to treat them.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not blaming physicians at all for this issue.  It is simply how our health care system works right now. 

            I don’t have a perfect answer for the question at hand, but as the concept of trauma informed care continues to grow, so do the opportunities for our older loved ones. For more information about trauma informed care you can get more information from the National Association of State Mental Health Program Directors at http://www.nasmhpd.org/content/national-center-trauma-informed-care-nctic-0

Or at the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration at


Page 3 of 4